Back squat 1 – 10 – 1 – 20 – 1 – 30 reps
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Lisa, Jorge and who is that by the door?
Lungs are burning, head is spinning and I really want to quit. Why did I come in here today? Is it really only round one? How many more of these do I have to do? Today might be the day I actually break down and quit a workout. Why am I not better at this by now? These are the thoughts that ran through my head as I began the first rounds of "Kelly".
Every time someone passed me, all I could think of is it's time. Time to refocus, get back up and take care of myself again. There is nothing unusual about getting caught up in life, forgetting I need sleep, water and time to rejuvenate. Forgetting that meals won't plan and prepare themselves, fish oil won't magically enter my veins and that caffeine is a poor substitute for verve.
This cycle happens to all of us, we know what works, we know we will be better if… but alas, we allow other things to become more important than our health and fitness. We just get caught up and I knew this was why I was feeling the way I did about this workout, at this moment in time.
As I began round three, I started to think of all the athletes that I had seen do "Kelly" today before me. How hard I had pushed a few of them, how awe inspiring some of them had performed and how a few had the same experience I was having, a defeating one. What separated us all and what brought all of us together, and why was I still doing box jumps? And then I began to turn around, it didn't matter how I was feeling right now, I was finishing the workout, it didn't matter how much I hurt, I would be back tomorrow, it didn't matter how negative my self talk was in the moment, I'd still cheer on my fellow team mates as they ran by me.
I know that the difference between good and great is attitude and planned actions. I wasn't about to get mad in this moment, because I didn't do what I knew I needed to do to be my best today. If I want to be my best it has to be an active journey and continuous journey and one with days, weeks and maybe months that I am not always my best. It would be very easy for me to get mad, frustrated and even down right angry that I was not doing "better". Better then what? The athletes around me? The trainers I workout with? The people online? They are no measure for me, only a measure of themselves. If I am to get better part of that is doing the best I can for me, today.
As I began round five I started to give myself goals again, at which point the wallballs destroyed me. I realized that if I wanted to be better, I'd have to make it hurt more, I'd have to get to bed earlier, drink more water, plan my days better and make it a priority again. There is no blame in how I preformed, not even on myself, there is no need as the blame is useless.
Before I left the gym I reluctantly logged my time, hmmm. I had knocked 3 minutes off from the last time I had done Kelly. I must be getting better then I was, even if I was feeling as though I was not. Progress in the right direction, I knew I could do even better and my mind was going to be the first thing I was going to change.
