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How to Do This Empathetic Listening Thing – Justin Kompf
*you can see the full article here
I don’t have set in stone guidelines on how to accomplish this, but I know when I’ve done it the right way and I know when I’ve failed.
I think one of the biggest issues people have in conversations is that they wait for their turn to talk. They have already concluded what they are going to say next even before the person in front of them has finished talking.
Yes Karen2, you’re guilty of this so pay close attention.
As soon as you’re thinking about what you are going to say next, you’re not fully engaged with the person, so that means you’re not listening.
Side Note: This is also super important for a successful initial consultation with a client if you want to truly understand their goals and why their goals are important.
If you’re going to be a good listener, you need to suspend your thoughts.
Good listeners don’t jump to give advice or relate their experiences to the person in front of them. If you feel like you have something that the person can relate to, try saying:
“You know, everyone’s experience is different, and I don’t want to pretend like we’ve gone through the same thing, but I’ve got a story that I think you might relate to.”
People don’t always talk to get advice back.
They just want to talk because things are tough, and they want to get it off their chest. If they want advice, they’ll probably say “what do you think I should do?”
The last thing that I know for sure is that if you want to be a great listener you need to put your phone down.
All the incredible memes will still be there when your conversation is over.
The Subtle Art of Shutting Up
Listen…
Listening is incredibly important. Yea, sometimes it can be just about as comfortable as being single for the third year in a row at your families Thanksgiving get together.
Right…
But in order to be a good listener, you need to shut up.
Something great happens when a person feels accepted and can speak their mind. You might find out way more about the person you are working with, whether it’s about their goals or about their life, by saying nothing.
Just like lifting, writing, or slipping high brow poop jokes into casual conversations with your highly successful clients, listening is a skill that needs to be practiced.
So, I would encourage all of you to go out their and in the appropriate times, just shut up.
